There are many fine arguments for not allowing your cat-guru to be an indoor/outdoor pet. Chief among them is that your cat will drive you insane as she observes the Seventh Tenet of Catfuscianism: Whenever a door in your life closes, you end up on the wrong side of it.
We humans try to impose our rules on the cat-gurus who share our homes, but felines answer to a higher law: the Principles of Catfuscianism. You have been given fair warning of the Sixth Tenet of Catfusianism: There are places of mystery and wonder in this world—places a cat is not allowed to tread. But … More The Sixth Tenet of Catfuscianism
If the cat-guru you serve ever displays a bit of an attitude with you, don’t take it personally. She’s merely exercising the fifth tenet of Catfuscianism: An ounce of disdain outweighs a pound of aggression. Next time, try to be more prompt with the kibble.
Cats are mysterious creatures. They sometimes behave in strange ways. But that strangeness is a mere illusion. Everything your cat does will make sense once you discover the invisible structure underlying their every decision: the philosophy of Catfuscianism. For example, in our home, any item that falls to the floor—dirty laundry, a reusable grocery bag, … More The Fourth Tenet of Catfuscianism
Groom unto others as you would have them groom unto you.
Prepare yourself, for our wise catguru has descended from on high (i.e., the top of the kitchen cabinets) to bestow upon us the second tenet of Catfuscianism: It is only within the confines of a cardboard box that you will experience what it is to be truly free. Our cat Smidgen has mastered this principle.
I have trouble comprehending a lot of things in this world. But what puzzles me most–what’s more difficult for me to understand than rocket science, or calculus, or someone with a really thick Cockney accent and a mouth full of peanut butter-and-honey sandwich—is human behavior. I’ve been doing some character sketches on my work-in-progress lately, … More Tenets of Catfuscianism
Yesterday was tense, as the Twitterverse watched the ill-advised, amazing ascent of one very nimble Minnesotan raccoon up the side of an office building. He was the beloved, bumbling protagonist we all are, some days, making one bad decision after the next but refusing to back down. Well, he made it all the way to … More Happy Birthday to me, from the #MPRaccoon
In the last couple years, I’ve become pessimistic about the future of humanity. Every day seems to bring something else to worry about, some new and terrible demonstration of man’s inhumanity to man. I know, I know. Even tens of thousands of years ago, people thought the world was coming to an end, and those … More How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Idea of a World Without Humans
I spent much of 2017 blissfully engrossed in a writing project, code named/acronymed WANA. Below are the first 15 of the 60 or so collages I made while writing the manuscript. I hope they make you smile. 1. Cara’s goal in life 2. Parents lounging in the hammock 3. A Knowledge Mine worker 4. Cara en … More W.A.N.A. Collages
